squeezetheuniverse.com - Latest Comments

Re: we moved to virginia

Charlotte Hansen — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 07:51:40 -0000

Oprah said about 5 years ago that skinny jeans look terrible on everyone and no one should wear them. I still think it's true. So rock those boot-cut jeans. I'm hoping if I survive the next 8 months I will join you in Virginia.

Re: we moved to virginia

deja — Sun, 29 Dec 2013 18:17:45 -0000

I just. Thanks for coming back. And for that last paragraph in particular. Moves are hard. I'm glad to read your words.

Re: cleveland, adieu – 9

paga — Wed, 18 Dec 2013 22:46:06 -0000

Here's one of our favorite family scriptures: "Josie 1: 1 I'm ok, you're ok, and everything's going to be all right!" It seems to fit here, and it fits for a whole bunch of other places.

Re: mental monday: a little change

Suzanne Campbell — Mon, 28 Oct 2013 17:12:43 -0000

Please be patient with me. I want to be your friend in the best possible way please show me Suzanne Campbell. love what and how you write and the comments you have received. You have a way with words

Re: on the project table: simplicity 1873

Candice Wendt — Tue, 23 Jul 2013 22:38:21 -0000

Jessie, I love this. You should write a book about sewing dresses. The dress, heels and hair and so cute!

Re: mental monday: in which i wax poetic

jesgrrl — Thu, 18 Jul 2013 22:11:52 -0000

i'm glad a poet read my limerick. now, if i could just get it to carl kasell...

Re: summer: jes style

jesgrrl — Thu, 18 Jul 2013 22:10:49 -0000

thanks, rebecca. next time, you should come with us!

Re: summer: jes style

jesgrrl — Thu, 18 Jul 2013 22:10:47 -0000

thanks, janae. hope your road trip is full of mountains.

Re: mental monday: in which i wax poetic

deja — Mon, 15 Jul 2013 09:18:10 -0000

There was this part of this that was my favorite part and now I can't find it but it's okay because it's all my favorite part. The limerick is my favorite part; let's face it. I will send vibes to the government to figure out your move pronto. And I hope it's a good good place with a entire crew of people who know how to say the things on the helpful list and mean it. Mucho love.

Re: summer: jes style

Rebecca — Wed, 03 Jul 2013 13:32:11 -0000

Oh, I just love your writing style. It can make me laugh and bring tears to my eyes. So glad you were able to capture some of these moments and write them down. And how brave of you to go car-riding across the country with your two kids! Love you :)

Re: summer: jes style

Janae @ Bring-Joy — Wed, 03 Jul 2013 09:51:14 -0000

Oh, this touched me. Utah will always be a part of me. I miss that place. Like you said, so many things you don't realize you love about that place until you move to Texas. I too am doing a trip (although we're driving)--hoping to fill the summer with nature & family, the stuff I hope the kids will remember.

My favorite Henry moment: "i like guns, & I love my country." He's a hoot.

Re: mental monday: a little change

Maren McEuen — Mon, 13 May 2013 23:59:50 -0000

Thanks for this response, Kate. I certainly agree that no individual can be the spokesperson for everyone else in the same situation. Just because Jess deals first-hand with bipolar disorder does not mean she can be a stand-in for every other person with a mental illness, or even with bipolar disorder, and tell us all the right and wrong things to say. I do find it helpful, though, to hear about individual experiences with the things that people have said that were hurtful or helpful and why. It gives me insight into how I, as someone on the outside, might perceive things very differently from the way a person on the inside does.
As a much less serious example: pregnant women. Some are offended or frustrated when people comment on how big they are or how they look like they're about to pop. Those kinds of comments never bothered me when I was pregnant, but because I know that they bother some pregnant women, I try hard not to say them to anyone. And I know I can safely say, "Wow, you look great!" instead. But I know what it's like to be pregnant, and it's a subject we talk a lot more about.
So I think that hearing someone who struggles with mental illness explain, "It really helped/hurt me when someone said/did X" gives me more tools in my toolbox for helping and supporting people in my life through trials that I cannot otherwise even begin to understand. It's still my responsibility not to be an idiot in how I treat others -- and I agree with you that this is about kindness and compassion, not political correctness -- but knowing more specifics about what things generally might be more or less supportive is really helpful. Or at least I think so.

Re: mental monday: a little change

Maren McEuen — Mon, 13 May 2013 23:37:46 -0000

The most disturbing parts of your post, to me, were the way the first doctor treated you and the fact that multiple people have sent you the blog post by My Angel of Repose as an example of someone else who deals with being bipolar.
The first bothered me a great deal, I suppose because it is so clearly ostracizing, judging and practically criminalizing with no basis other than a checked box. If I go into our pediatrician's office with a box checked for family history of cancer, nobody treats me like I'm somehow responsible for that, and if I happened to be the family member with cancer, I have no doubt I would be given a lot of support and encouragement, not suspicion and judgment. I guess I'm just saying that I think it's unfortunate that there is still such a stigma associated with mental illness, especially when it comes from the medical community.
And the second horrified me because of the sheer ignorance of it. I'm sure the author of the post didn't mean to suggest she suffers from actual bipolar disorder, but the fact that other people think her article is an accurate description of what being bipolar is like, well, that's just a little scary.

Re: mental monday: a little change

anonymous — Mon, 13 May 2013 21:05:32 -0000

very interesting.

Re: mental monday: a little change

jesgrrl — Fri, 10 May 2013 11:34:38 -0000

thank you, maren, for taking the time to respond. and like i said to elise, i think i'll take the time to write more on the subject. but i would be interested to know more specifically what horrified you. i get so inured to the whole situation that it's been a while since i've looked at the situation from the perspective of an outsider - i would be fascinated to hear your analysis, as always.

Re: mental monday: a little change

jesgrrl — Fri, 10 May 2013 11:32:52 -0000

that's it exactly, kate, that you can never know what to say to every person, but that's true of any difficult situation.

Re: mental monday: a little change

jesgrrl — Fri, 10 May 2013 11:29:13 -0000

i would be curious to know what helped him understand what it really was like - if it wasn't too personal a detail.

Re: mental monday: a little change

jesgrrl — Fri, 10 May 2013 11:28:24 -0000

thank you, dej.

Re: mental monday: a little change

jesgrrl — Fri, 10 May 2013 11:25:29 -0000

thank you so much for saying this, elise. i think i've lived for so long inside my own struggle that i really have no idea what it's like to be not inside it. and rather than write a book inside the comments, i'll just write a post addressing your questions.

Re: mental monday: a little change

Kate Jonuska — Thu, 09 May 2013 10:24:25 -0000

Maren (and Elise, who also asks about how to act/what to say),

I think the key is knowing you know nothing, approaching with respect and, when you do say something that's accidentally hurtful or wrong, admit it and learn from it. None of us are perfect. Even the most thoughtful of us has unintentionally been insensitive or even insulting out of ignorance, not only to the mentally ill but about issues of racism, sexism, disability, etc. (Raise your hand if you even once laughed while calling someone a retard and now feel regret.)

Compassion is an educational process. In the end, and this is not meant harshly, it's all on you (and me) individually. Jess or anyone else can't say for sure how to talk to everyone who deals with mental illness. We're all different! :) Sure, some people call taking this kind of care around other people's feelings and differences being politically correct. I call it correct. Or maybe correctly trying, if stumblingly, to be a good human being.

Re: mental monday: a little change

Maren McEuen — Wed, 08 May 2013 18:46:19 -0000

Well I am a little bit horrified by some of this. As I believe I should be. I have not had to deal with mental illness, and I have no illusions that I have even the slightest clue what it would be like. Or how it would feel. Or how I would cope. Anymore than any other person knows how it is to be me -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is unfortunate that we humans are always trying to put each other in clearly defined boxes so that we can categorize and compare and, yes, judge.
I don't believe I'm guilty of using bi-polar as a buzzword of sorts, but I am guilty of using depression that way. I will be more careful in the future. And I second Elise's questions. I know I cannot fully understand how mental illness feels and therefore cannot truly empathize. I have noticed that often when people try to help or support those going through a major life experience of event -- mental illness, loss of a loved one, etc. -- they unintentionally say or do the wrong thing, the thing that hurts instead of helps (as your post alludes to). Sometimes I don't say or do anything for fear that it will be wrong. So how can I more completely and helpfully support the friend or family member who carries the mental illness title, along with her many others?

Re: on the project table: can we talk tv?

Rebekah Orton — Tue, 07 May 2013 11:56:40 -0000

project runway seemed back to life after the last draggy seasons.
I am LOVING TGBSB. exactly the type of drama I feel when I sew :)

Re: mental monday: a little change

Elise N — Mon, 06 May 2013 22:32:37 -0000

I love you. And I must admit that the post was hard for me to read since "the guilty take the truth to be hard." I deeply hope that I have been understanding. And that I have never put my short bouts of depression on par with yours. Annie's comment got me thinking. When I share my experiences with depression, I feel like I have to tell it as a comedy. I'm not good at thoughtful or profound. And does that hurt the cause?

Also, I have dear friends here who talk to me about their mental illness, and I can't totally empathize. And I can't completely understand. But I don't want to be judgmental. I want to be supportive. I want them to know that I love them. So I tell them they're amazing. I tell them that their experience sounds overwhelmingly hard. I tell them I don't know what to say. I tell them they inspire me.

Is this wrong? What should I say? What can I say to someone who struggles, who wants a friend? What can I say when I find their confessions shocking and difficult and overwhelming and yet convey my love and support for them?

Thanks for this post. Because ditto to what Deja said (wish I could be the two of you. You always know the right things to say.). I love your voice.

Re: mental monday: a little change

Kate Jonuska — Mon, 06 May 2013 14:15:34 -0000

For a long time, I think my husband believed depression just meant sadness. He was shocked and forever changed once he understood what it felt like from the inside, at least for me. I don't think he'll ever belittle the struggle again.

Re: mental monday: a little change

Annie Leavitt — Mon, 06 May 2013 14:08:01 -0000

This was very well put Jess. Although my mental illness bouts have been short lived (when I nurse) it is real and something I haven't been brave enough to write for the world. But in person? Yes I can tell someone in person what it is like, but they laugh and think I'm exaggerating just to be funny. Nothing about it is funny, at all. I'm always looking around the corner for when it comes back for good, but for now I'm grateful every day that I'm a "little" aware of what it's like. Bless you and your awesomeness.